MAIN KAUN HOON

Happy Independence day... A wave of messages, or something akin to that, comes our way every 15th August. People proclaiming their love for India and how proud they are to be Indian… Not a bad emotion at all. We all love being Indian--the same way a man born in Australia loves being Australian, or a man born in Kenya is proud to be Kenyan... We're all proud of our identity!

What makes a person’s identity? What are the things that define our being and the life that we lead on earth. Our name... It defines what we are to be called for the rest of our lives... Our religion… It defines our way of life... Our culture... It defines our thoughts and practises… Our sex... It defines our emotions, our approach to relationships and our morals… And our country... Which pretty much defines our entire personality. So it's Name, Religion, Sex and Country... I am Samar Khan, a man born in the Islamic faith and of Indian origin. So this definition will govern almost everything that we set out to do or be in our life… But isn’t it ironic that none of this is given to us by choice, that all these labels come to us as a matter of chance… Or destiny... Something we have no control over.

No one asks us for permission before giving us a name, something that will become our calling card for the rest of our life... Something which will become the badge of our identity for ever… A newborn can't decide which country he or she should be born in, it all depends on the nationality of his parents and the choices they have made... A baby can't decide in the mother's womb the sex that he or she wants to be born as, or the religion he or she should follow for the rest of his or her life. An unborn has no control over his name, religion, sex or country, but it is these very things that will decide his identity for his entire life. And we fight so hard to protect the values that these identities represent… We are always fighting for the values of our country, we are always guarding the virtues of our religion, extolling the virtues of our sex and feeling proud of our name. We make these four labels the pillars of all our beliefs... Of all that we stand for and all that is dear to us. But do we ever stop and think, even for a moment, that we actually had no contribution in adopting these pillars of our beliefs? We didn’t have a choice in becoming who we are. And yet, we fight so hard to hold on to them.

Then shouldn’t we at least try and break the boundaries set by our name, religion, country and sex? Shouldn’t we be trying to explore who we really are deep inside and what we stand for? And does it really matter whether we’re Indians, Muslims, men or women or what our names are??? Why should it matter to anyone? And why should we be defined by something that we had no control over ??

We spend our entire lives protecting the sanctity of who we are and fighting to hold on to our values. But in reality, these values don’t belong to us. They never did. Lets not get stuck with values that have been given to us through an accident of birth. Values need to be a product of our own thoughts and choices, decisions and our reactions to their consequences. Allow the mind to explore lands beyond the ones we have inherited. Lets at least try not to let these boundaries restrict us. Let us not allow our religion, country, sex or what our name means to shackle us. Instead, lets break free from those thoughts and ideas and be willing to explore what lies beyond the four pillars of our identity…

And lets not take these pillars so seriously please!! Let it not matter what country we are born in, or what religion we follow, or what our name or sex is… Because they were never yours, they were simply given to you. 

Heart Dead or Brain Dead...

It’s the classic debate, follow the heart or follow the head… Should we do things that the heart tells us to do, or let the brain analyse every situation and then make a decision... Which organ of our body should govern the life that we lead ... The heart or the brain??... Hmmmmmm... BTW have you ever thought about why even medical science has also, despite all its efforts, been unable to keep a man alive if his heart stops beating??? A person can be brain dead and still be alive, but he can't survive if he is heart dead!!

Why do we live?? What is the great desire that pushes us every day to wake up and live another day… Experience all that life has to offer... Isn't it to be able experience happiness?? Joy?? Excitement??? That rush of adrenaline when you see, feel or do something new…? We all live for that and for many of these moments... We all want to be able to experience what we call happiness and joy. And everything we do leads us to that… But what feels those emotions? It's definitely not the brain, because the brain has been made to analyse, not feel... It is meant for data collection and analysis, calculations and caution... Not to feel, not to experience joys and sadness.. Victory and defeat, the ups and downs in life... That is something that only the heart can do… It feels the smiles of joy and the tears of sadness… It is the heart that tells us when we are happy and when we are sad, and decides what makes us happy and sad... The brain can only count the pros and cons… I am sure we all, somewhere inside, know all of this... We know it but we choose to forget… But why?? I feel it's because we are fearful of the sadness, the defeat and the downs… We are afraid because we want only the bright side of life to always be on our side... We only want the sunshine and the roses without the thorns… But that’s not going to happen, and we all know that... Then why do we not embrace the sadness, the hurts, the defeats and the downs and make them our own too??? Many of us are unable to handle them because we don't understand these feelings... We don’t want to welcome them and aren't ready for them… But what if we prepared ourselves?? What if we just said fuck it, lets get hurt... Lets be prepared for the defeat and lets not be scared of the dark… Remember the first time you were left alone in a dark room.. It was scary as hell and you couldn't wait to get out... But then you got used to it and the darkness became your friend... And now, sometimes you look forward to that darkness…
We dont accept any of them because the brain has told us that getting hurt is WRONG, losing is WRONG and sadness is WRONG. And we've  and tuned ourselves to believe the brain… There is nothing wrong in feeling anything because all feelings have to be embraced, accepted and then let go of... Would we rather turn ourselves into robots and not feel anything at all? Would we rather become analytical machines that are only capable of calculations and making lists of what's right and wrong about all choices we're contemplating? Isn't it better if we let our feelings guide our actions. Wouldn't it be better if we just went all out and accepted that love brings hurt? That playing a game will bring either a win or a defeat... That there will be joy, and there will be sadness… Wouldn't it be better if we don’t let the negative feelings come as a complete surprise to us, that we're ready for them and we face them and then let them go...? Is it not better to live life, experiencing everything that it has to offer, rather than just sitting in a corner and not experiencing anything, because the brain has told us in its infinite wisdom that the cons outnumber the pros…?

If God wanted us to follow our brains, he would have given us a blueprint of our lives when we were born and told us to follow that path and that path alone. He wouldn't have given us a heart that allows us to feel the emotions that every action brings and prompts us to do more… We use our brains to earn money so that the heart can feel the joy... We use our brains to study hard and come first so that the heart can feel the excitement… It’s the heart that has to be the driving force in our lives... Sure, we will make mistakes... Sure, we will fall down and get hurt... Sometimes so badly that it takes all our courage to rise again and continue on our path... But don’t let the brain tell you that it's wrong to get hurt and feel sad... It's fine, because only then will we feel happy and can feel the true joy of happiness... If we've never felt emptiness, we can never feel the joy of being with someone...
If Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs and many other “brainy” people never followed their hearts and did what they did, the world would be a poorer place... The heart tells us to take risks and push the boundaries and only then will we ever expand and move ahead...
Lets be brain dead, but never heart dead...

PS: If the brain took all the right decisions, the world economy would not be such a mess, guys... better let the heart make a mistake... At least it will feel it