The thought struck after
returning from Istanbul. For those who don’t already know, it’s the place I
celebrated my 40th birthday in; and with considerable panache, I
would say… Over dinner as I entertained my friends with details of the trip:
the madness, the BMW and the insanely large alcohol bill that I racked up, he
asked me the question most people are wont to ask during discussions like
these: What would I do for the grand 41st? What was the next big
thing on my “Bucket List”?
The thing is, I don’t have a
bucket list. I don’t even believe in the concept. Which is not to say that I’ve
done everything I wanted to in life; there are still plenty of experiences to
live, places to visit and sights to see in this lifetime. But I just don’t believe
in putting it down on a list and put little check marks against them as I go
along.
By its very definition, a
list is a plan. It could be a plan for things that need to be done, things that
need to be accomplished, or simply the landmarks and milestones that we need to
cross to see ourselves where we want to in 5, 10, 15 years. It could be about
going to Harvard before turning 30, landing that dream job or finally taking
the vacation we’ve been planning for years. A list in an accounting system, a
balance sheet through which we keep score of the things that we managed versus
the things that we couldn’t. The more the number of little check marks against
the items, the happier and more successful we’re supposed to feel in life. But
do we really want to turn over life’s happiness to an accounting system? And
what happens when the check marks aren’t quite as many in number as we thought
there would be? Should that decrease our happiness in the things that we did manage to do?
To me, the concept of bucket
lists seems flawed on many levels… Life doesn’t come with a definite plan… I
believe that the beauty of life lies in its uncertainty… Every day, it writes a
new chapter, every day we live a new adventure… In this uncertainty, where is
the place for a list??
I think Bucket Lists lead to
disappointment. Imagine dreaming of Harvard all your adult life, imagine saving
up for it for years, and then imagine something happening that doesn’t let that
person go to Harvard despite all the planning and preparations. It’s not just
the disappointment. Imagine if the reason for not going was a person… All it
would lead to is resentment for the person who took away that item from our
list. Why would we do this to ourselves?
I believe in treating life like
a book that reveals something new on every page. A book that we don’t have the
power to write, only live and enjoy. Only then can we feel a pure and
unadulterated kind of happiness when we reach the last page… We don’t have the
power to write our own destiny; if we did, everyone on the planet would be exactly
where they wanted to see themselves… But we’re not all where we’d like to be,
are we?
I somehow always feel that our
joy in the things we’ve achieved always pales in comparison to the
disappointment over the things we weren’t able to do. A Bucket List is like inviting
this disappointment to our doorstep and letting the pressure of getting to the
desired goals get to us… When did life become about ticking off things we have
done from some list and not about simply exploring all that it has to offer?
Why can’t we travel a road without a map and see where it goes and what it has
to offer?
When do we start making these
lists anyway??? As the years go by and we experience more and more of life, do
we keep adding to this list and consequently, keep adding to the pressure of
accomplishing even more than before?? When does this list end??? I’d love to
meet a man who can tell me that he had a list of 10 things to do which he never
added things to; and when he managed to cross all 10 of them, he was completely
satisfied. I’m guessing we’d be hard pressed to find a man like this. Human
desires are endless, so why should our desire to do things be restricted and
kept in some bucket???
Lists are meant for chores to
finish and groceries to buy… Let’s not treat life like a balance sheet… Where
success is measured in how much red we see at the end of the day. Like someone once
told me, buckets are meant to hold water, not your life’s desires. J
I so agree! I have never had a list in my life! Not a bucket list...not even one that would fit into a coffee mug! In fact, I have created new boxes, left them half way and flitted in another direction on a whim! And that, for me is life on it's way to being well spent!!!
ReplyDeleteThought i shd drop in a comment just so you know i read your blogs and i think they are very nicely written.. Oh! You 'professionally attractive' YOU *swoooning* :D
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