Sorry is a journey..not just a word

Its been a month of intense reactions since my last blog post.  

From it being called pretentious to some others not taking kindly to my writing it in the first place. The reactions have come fast and furious…but the most common reaction that I got was of people saying how brave it was of me to say sorry; about how they felt it was admirable to have owned up to my error and mistake

Is it such a big deal to say I’m sorry? Why is it considered brave and admirable to say I was wrong and admit to one's failings and shortcomings? And how people react to this much often used word 'Sorry'. 

In my opinion ,it is neither brave to say sorry nor is it admirable to say it. It’s the least one can do. When we make a mistake that hurts someone , is not saying sorry the first step that we take towards redemption for ourselves? Or are we living in a world where saying sorry is considered a rarity rather than the norm. 

A girl friend of mine who I have been constantly speaking to through this period kept telling me how proud she was of me that I had the courage to own up and say sorry. Her boyfriend didn’t. Does that make me a better person? 

I would most definitely say not. But it seems like saying sorry and meaning it has become a rare commodity in today’s world. 

Most of us use the word 'Sorry' in our daily lives in many ways; when we spill water on someone, when we interrupt someone’s conversation, or even if we accidentally trip someone. What seems rather inadequate is that the English language has given us the same word to apologize to someone when you make a mistake as small as that or an error as grave as murder. Unfortunately there is no other word and so when we use it for a graver error, it sounds frivolous or it doesn’t sound like it’s meant. No matter how grave the error or how big the crime, the only words that can be used are 'I’m sorry'. Is that the reason it’s not taken at face value?? And the motives questioned? Is that why maybe, it isn't enough? 

The one thing that I have realized in the past one month is that sorry is not a word, its a journey.Saying the word is only the beginning of that journey. 

How do you show that you’re sorry?  How does someone believe that you are apologetic and regret what you have done? Its only actions that can show that …and actions take time. They take time to do as well as for them to be seen and believed.   

For when someone is hurting, it’s difficult to believe that you are sorry and are regretful of your actions. Every mistake that you have done in the past however small, will be brought out and slammed against you and even the good will be tinged with the hurt of the wrong. But the only thing that you can do if you are genuinely regretful is to continue doing your actions. For it is your actions that will show whethere or not you are geniunely remorseful of your actions . But it will have to be walked alone. Rest assured, it will be long, longer than you expect it to be…..Along this journey, you will find friends who will support you, family that will stand by you. But the acceptance of what you have done and not letting it bog you down is a journey that needs to be done alone.  

There is a difference in feeling sorry and feeling sorry for yourself. There will be times when you would almost slip into self-bashing mode …into a state where everything about yourself would seem wrong. But then family and friends would step in to stop you from feeling that way, to just say "Hey you did wrong, very wrong. But you also have the ability to make it right." …and that’s what sorry actually means, the journey to make it right. For the wrong that we do inflicts pain not just on the people we do it to,but also on ourselves. 

The most difficult thing is to make the people you have hurt actually believe that you are sorry ….they might or they never will …but if it really matters and if you really feel that you have done wrong …make your self believe that you are sorry …walk the path …not just say the word …

Sorry is a journey …not just a word …saying it is just the first step…