1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10..and the list goes on

It’s been a while since I wrote my last blog.

Call it writers block or what you may ...but I’m finally putting down finger to keyboard. J

Many who read my blog had asked me why I haven’t been writing lately?

It had been almost two months and I asked my self, did I write because I wanted to write and was inspired to write or was it just to notch up another one?

Just add to the number that comes before  …this one is 20^th blog …or the 22^nd …I don’t frankly know how many have I written and will finally write ..and these thoughts gave birth to the  idea for this blog .

Have we made our life just a collection of numbers and is that all that drives us? Have we become slaves of the numbers game? Has everything else stopped mattering and life has just become about the next number?

If one was to go back to our childhood, our obsession with numbers started from a very nascent stage. Starting with our obsession to come 1^st in class, in the debate competition or in the race that was happening on sports day. We were judged by our number or rank not by how well we had done, or whether we were happy just to be part of a race. It all came down to the number we achieved. Our exam results were all about ranks, our competition was always about the number that we finished at and since then our obsession with numbers has continued.

When do you remember in school anyone asking after your result “How did you do?” It was always, “What rank did you finish at?”

And since then numbers have been all around us; How many cars do we have? How many clothes do we own? How many promotions have we got? How much money we make? How many followers on twitter? How many friends on Facebook? Has a film earned 100 crores or not? It’s just about numbers. Our entire professional life is a function of achieving targets and setting new ones. Is there something more than that we look at? Satisfaction? Anything for the soul? And after a point does anyone even remember the numbers any more? Or do they become a blur? Its like driving a car on an empty highway and just looking at the numbers that pass by on every milestone, clocking them on an endless road with just numbers to mark our journey. Nothing else.

When did it become important to finish first in something that you do and why is it important to keep adding the numbers to our lives?

People ask me when am I going to make my next film.

Frankly I don’t know.

Will I make it to add one more to the list? So by now I have made 2 films ..after a while 3 ..then 5 …or should I make it only when I am inspired enough to do it. Should our life be about being inspired to take the next step or just a rush to notch up one more?

It’s been almost 17 years since I started working and if I look back, all I can see is a blur of things that I have done; running the race to notch up the numbers and questioning; Till when will the numbers matter and when will it be enough?

 Numbers are for calculators and for excel sheets. They should have no position in one’s life. Bank balances and the number that we have there should stop being the barometer of our life. Just taking the next step ahead to increase the number of steps that we have taken should stop being the only reason to walk.

We all come at a stage on our lives when these numbers overwhelm us and we feel that life should have more than just a collection of numbers. Maybe I have reached that stage, where numbers have become a blur …and I don’t feel like adding to those numbers.

I may not finish first in life …but it doesn’t really matter any more ….