It’s a discussion I am very often a part of. When my female
friends, who are still single, give me their reasons for being single, how they
are waiting for that perfect man to walk in, the image that they have nurtured
in their head and dreams for so long, waiting to find that perfect
relationship.Friends who are waiting for that perfect job to land up,frustrated
in their current assignment …our constant search for the perfect life, the
search for this elusive word; perfection.
A state of being that I feel doesn’t exist.
We spend most of our adult lives living a life where we
chase this word...perfection. In our relationships, in our work place, in the
cities that we live in, in every aspect of our life. We strive for it and get
hugely disappointed when we don’t get it. Not just disappointed but also bitter
and frustrated with what we have. We forget to cherish the life that we have in
desire for the life, which may or may not exist…why are we so obsessed about
perfection in everything that we do? Why are we so consumed by our desire for
perfection that we forget to enjoy the real that is around us?
…Maybe because real can never be perfect and we have been as
kids tuned to chase perfection …
I think the biggest problem in our unhappiness is our lack
of acceptance of things around us. We would be much happier if since childhood
we don’t strive for perfection or for the 100% in every field that we do…if
parents don’t make their children feel inadequate if they are not perfect …if
they are not pushed towards perfection in everything that they do or are always
reminded about how life would not be fulfilled if it wasn’t perfect. If the
idea of a perfect marriage wasn’t drilled into our heads, if we were just made
to believe that perfect doesn’t exist…and imperfection is what we will find in
the world that we will live in
One of things that I always argue about and feel strongly
about is the search of perfection by men and women in their relationships. How
many of us stay single but will not enjoy something that is available ‘cause
its not perfect?
The question I always ask is whether getting 60% is better
than getting nothing at all… or even 50%. When we see all around do we even see
one perfect relationship? And what is this perfect relationship, anyway? Have
we ever thought that in this wait and quest for perfection we are missing out
on so many moments in life, which might be imperfect but are real and give us
happiness?
Is the definition of perfection that there are no flaws or
that it will not have pain? If that’s the case then we are setting ourselves up
for disappointment right from the very beginning. Everything that starts will end, everything
that God has created has a flaw and pain is an emotion that cannot be avoided
in life. So is it better to keep waiting for perfection or better to enjoy the
imperfection? Is it better to get real and live real and enjoy the real than
just wait endless for something that might not ever happen .
In our jobs and professional life too, we keep searching for
that perfect place where all our professional aspirations and desires will be
met. We keep looking around to find that place where we feel that what we dreamt
of is going to come true… but a job is not meant to make us happy ….its meant
to provide the bread and butter to our lives. How many of us choose a course
while growing up or a profession ‘cause it made us happy? We chose it ‘cause it
gave us security or we felt we were good at it
Or we succumbed to peer pressure or parental pressure to
take up a profession and then we stay in that job despite being unhappy and
feel frustrated ‘cause its not perfect or we are unhappy in it … No job is
perfect …no profession for anyone is perfect. Some are mundane, some glamorous…never
perfect.
Don’t let the imperfect moments of life pass you by as you
stand on the wayside waiting for that perfect moment to happen...because
chances are it doesn’t exist.
Enjoy and cherish the imperfections.
Don’t look for perfect
..Just look for real.
" Perfect is the enemy of good." - Voltaire
ReplyDeletePerfection doesn't exist in a forever state of being...it exists in flimsy passing moments. A sudden shower on a hot day or a call from a friend out of the blue, running into teachers and you being recognised by them....little things. It is not so much about perfection eventually as it is about finding your way around the imperfections and making it work. Big heavy words. Tough one too. Do-able. Yes. If not, you either change the location or the situation. We all know that. Eventually, it is those tiny perfect moments that make you smile and hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAgree with that never ending search for the perfect one is really Utopian. You can never find a perfect one. But, you can come close to being the right one for someone. Eventually, everything in life is likely to undergo change. If it doesn't, you are probably six feet under or charred and flowing down a river.