Two recent events have prompted me to write this post. Two completely unrelated events, except both the events had two things in common—super successful men and their detractors. Both the cases had men who were at the top of their game on one side; and a bunch of boring, mediocre people whose greatest pleasures in life came from finding chinks in people’s armours, on the other. The eternal pessimists. The clouds that’ll do everything they can to hide the sun.
A few weeks ago Steve Jobs passed away. He was a great, one who can proudly claim to have invented and designed some of the finest gadgets that the modern world has ever known. Here’s a man who came from nowhere and had nothing but his talent, vision and ambition. And yet, he managed to make it to the top, all thanks to his sheer determination and relentless hard work… And yet, within days of his death, the scavengers had come out to party. Almost every part of his life was put under the microscope and scrutinized. Each shortcoming amplified and all achievements dismissed. Newspapers, magazines, websites, the TV, etc. were flooded with unflattering stories about his working style, his arrogance, his unethical business practices and whatnot. He was made to look like a heartless, soulless man with no morals, no ethics. It was like his death had opened up the floodgates for all the people who had a problem with him. And they weren’t about to let this golden opportunity to last out at Steve pass.
Last week saw the release of RA.ONE, a movie that led to an almost uncontrollable outburst of emotions online. Some liked the film and others hated it. Which is understandable. But what astounded me is the venom with which the movie and everything associated with it has been attacked. It is in a league unto itself. Right from SRK’s acting prowess: “over and done with”, to his business sense: “wasted his money on a trashy film”, everyone had something nasty to say. It seems like the hate SRK campaign had taken on a life of its own.
Both these instances made me wonder: why do love to hate successful people so much???
Remember the time in school when the report card was read out? We always had an opinion about the student who came first... For the one who stood second, he was teacher’s pet and was given extra marks... For those that didn’t do as well as they hoped, it was because he spent hours taking tuitions. For the ‘cool’ ones in class, he was a dork. For the unimaginative ones, he was simply lucky. Everyone had a convenient explanation, an external factor that his success could be credited to. There were a million explanations, and none of them were ever flattering. No one could simply acknowledge that perhaps he had studied hard, perhaps he had decided to work as hard as needed to come first in class. Because to do so would mean acknowledging the fact that he was, indeed, special. That he was, in fact, better than the rest. It’s an uncomfortable thought, and so we look for excuses.
We never miss a chance to criticise successful people—whether it is the team that won a cricket match or the boy that the most beautiful girl in college chose to be with. The team must have cheated or the girl must be with him for his money. Aren’t the most enjoyable dinner or coffee table conversations those that are spent dissing the lives of the rich and famous? We love swapping tales of their inadequacies. We love pitting them against each other—who is the most corrupt of them all. We love nothing more than to find out that an actor is an immoral bastard. Or an actress slept her way to the top. Every success story must have an evil, sinister side to it. We must find something fallible even in the strongest of them. There must be some force than can bring even the best man to his knees. It’s sad when people spend their entire lives searching for that one imperfection, that one moment of weakness, when the game-changers can be pushed off their pedestals.
But in the race to see who will lead to their undoing, we often forget, or perhaps don’t care about, the fact that the number one man is human too. And as vulnerable to hurt as any other man. Perhaps more so even, considering the whole world is playing judge and jury to him.
Perhaps that is the reason that the population of hyenas and jackals is ten times the population of tigers and lions in a jungle. It’s only when the kings of the jungle are slightly vulnerable that the hyenas and the jackals have the courage to come out of hiding and join forces to corner and hurt them. Aren’t we a lot like these jackals and hyenas, always lurking in the shadows, waiting for that priceless nugget of information that will destroy the jungle cats??
Success is difficult... It is elusive and comes to only a select few… very few. We don’t want the successful few to flaunt their cars, their money and their elevated position in life… Why? Because it makes us feel small and brings us face to face with our own mediocrity. But that’s life and we should just suck it up and get used to it…
Why is it that we’re unable to accept that the rich and successful are where they are not because nature conspired against us, but because they somehow karmically deserved it…? If we believe in god, then it was their destiny… If we believe in karma, then it was their good karma that led them on the path of success… Whatever the reason, the fact remains that some people make it and others don’t… And all we can really do is accept and make the best of the life we’ve been blessed with. But we won’t do it. Instead, we’ll look for the sinister side of success.
Whys is success so lonely? Why is it so difficult for the world to handle it and let the person who has earned it revel in it…? Why is it so difficult for us to not be jealous and negative when someone else succeeds?? Are we as human beings incapable of accepting someone else’s success, popularity and wealth? By channelising all our energies on what others have more than us, are we not disrespecting what we do have? Not all of us can be at the peak of the mountain called success. Let’s accept this and respect those who have reached there… Because they have done something to be there… And I’m yet to find a man who wouldn’t want to be there. It’s another thing that most of us couldn’t reach there.
I think the ability to be happy for people better than you, to be able to celebrate their successes without veiled contempt is the true test of a person’s character.
It reminds me of something I read in Readers Digest a while ago: “It is the mediocre and weak who are cruel… Those with strength are gentle.”
