To Say Or Not To Say

I wanted to say it so much and then finally I did… I missed her and I wanted to see her. I had held back, not wanting to say it… But then I finally decided to take the plunge… What happened after that is irrelevant… What’s important is that I was afraid to say it… To say what my heart was feeling, to express my emotions. It’s the question that plagues us all—To Say Or Not To Say.

One of the things that has always been a topic of debate, and for many of us a problem in most of our relationships, is our inability to say what we feel… To express our thoughts and to let the other person know what’s going on in our hearts and minds, regardless of whether it’s good or bad… We’re afraid to tell people when we miss them or when we love them, all because we fear the consequences of our words. We almost never say things the way we feel them, the way they are...

Whether at work or in our relationships, we’re always holding back for fear of getting hurt and having our hearts trampled on. Work, I can understand… It’s a political world with as many egos as there are people, so keeping your mouth shut about how you really feel might be a good idea, but should we do the same in our relationships and in matters of the heart?

Why are we so afraid to tell a person that we care about him or her, and want to be with him or her? Why are we so afraid to tell people when we miss them? When we love them? Why are we so afraid to open up heart and let someone see it?? Is it for the fear of it being broken and not being appreciated…? Why do we let the fear of rejection paralyse us? Why are we so averse to experience even a little bit of hurt? We want to love, we want to be loved, but we don’t want to be hurt… We simply never want to be rejected… We are afraid of showing our vulnerability and are scared of being emotionally manipulated… We’re scared of  hearing something we don’t want to know... All valid fears, I agree. But should those fears be allowed to become bigger than our feelings? Should we keep holding back, keep preempting and gauging the possible reactions to what we say before we express ourselves? Should we keep waiting till we’re sure that our feelings and questions will meet a positive response? Is it even possible to do that?

We can’t eliminate the possibility of getting rejected or hurt or not getting a favourable response… Because love and life don’t come with guarantees. Life doesn’t always pan out the way we want it to, nor do feelings always listen to reason. We can’t manipulate how someone thinks or what they might say... But that shouldn’t stop us from saying what we want to... If you miss someone, say it… If you want someone, say it… If you love someone, say it… Those are your feelings, they’re positive emotions and they should be expressed, if you’re feeling them. You shouldn’t be held back by thoughts of what the response is going to be, or the fear that they will make you vulnerable… Because it’s always better to say what you’re feeling than to not say it at all… There is no love without hurt, there is no emotion without the heart feeling somewhat vulnerable. But some risks are worth taking. We all fear rejection and heartbreak, and so we hide our true thoughts. But sometimes, unless we take that leap of faith and say it, we miss being with the one person that our heart wants… If only we had found the courage within ourselves to just say the words… We lose a friend we could have saved, if only we’d picked up the phone and told him that he was special, or we miss hearing the words ‘I love u too’, because we could never get ourselves to say 'I love you' in the first place. Hurt and rejection and exposing your heart to vulnerability is all a part of living… Say it… Because regret is the worst feeling to live with… Worse than rejection even.